Yard Sales

[Trinity]

Dear Yard Salers,

WTF?!? I know my neighbor probably has some awesome stuff in her yard but parking in a PRIVATE alley instead of the street? Really? Parking across a person's driveway? Seriously? You honestly think that is ok?  Do you not see the sign at the start of said alley that says "Private Alley: No Parking"? Lacking reading skills and/or comprehension much?  The friggin street is right there next to the house with the goodies. It's wide and plenty of space. If you can't park there and walk a few extra feet maybe you need to find a new hobby.

Sincerely,

A pissed off homeowner needing access to the *^% alley

[humancatpost]

Go ahead and print this off.  Simply cut it out and glue (not tape, GLUE) it on his driver's side window.  For an added bonus, shove one up his exhaust pipe.

[static2601]

You probably want to get a new neighbor. I think i know someone that could help you with that.

[DragonMasterNYC]

Reporting for fire duty, would you like the good only gas trail or a short in their electrical.

[Soda]

The Red Oktober is in firing position. The estimated Aftermath of your enemy's building:

[DragonMasterNYC]

That's my place after the power goes out.

[Soda]

I can always summon gold rush demons to stake a claim in and around the underwear drawer....

--- Update ---

Go ahead and print this off.  Simply cut it out and glue (not tape, GLUE) it on his driver's side window.  For an added bonus, shove one up his exhaust pipe.

No, no, no. That's WAY too soft. You need to take milk, eggs, and soda. Not DIET soda, REGULAR soda (because of the sugar) and your bowels to make a 'masterpiece' on the windows, especially the front windows and smear it with a paint roller. After that, shove couch stuffing up the exhaust pipe. Then paint a Confederate flag all over the car and suggest a drive in the North. You can always open the hood and stuff a Quizno's sandwich in one or all of the engine cylinders. If that is not satisfying enough, write a thank-you note on the car. With a nail. about 3,000 word per square inch. For an additional 100 rage points, siphon the petrol and replace it with orange juice and WELD the brake pedal to the floor mat. You may wanna put a bear trap rigged to the gas pedal. Also, put a bass in the glove box.

[Bighead2496]

No, no, no. That's WAY too soft. You need to take milk, eggs, and soda. Not DIET soda, REGULAR soda (because of the sugar) and your bowels to make a 'masterpiece' on the windows, especially the front windows. After that, shove couch stuffing up the exhaust pipe. For an additional 100 rage points, siphon the petrol and replace it with orange juice. You my wanna put a bear trap rigged to the gas pedal.

That is wrong on so many levels

[DragonMasterNYC]

That's nothing we have a cleaner we use for rims that shit strips paint. just pour a little on the car it goes all the way down to the metal and no mater what you do the rust will always come back after painting.